Dr. Matt Powell – suburbia

Dating Your Honey

July 21, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

I went on a date last night. Actually it was more like yesterday afternoon, evening, and night. We ate together and then enjoyed the Astros game at Minute Maid Park – and yes my wonderful bride enjoys the game too. We had a great time. It was an investment. Not only in regards to cash, because we splurged with a trip to the ballpark, but in our relationship.

Our story consists of three wonderful kiddos… but don’t relegate dating your spouse to something you only need to do when you have kids. All of us are constantly giving away our time. We all make commitments every single day that demand not just our time but our emotional energy as well.

We are especially guilty of this as suburban dwellers. When we commit to an opportunity it isn’t just about the time it takes to complete the opportunity but we must also consider the amount of time we are thinking, day-dreaming, or researching this new opportunity. Every facet of that takes a piece of us away from our marriage and gives it to that new opportunity. As you know, we have no shortage of good opportunities to give our time to here in suburbia.

I know that you are involved in some really good things – even some great things. I also know that you have to work so that your family can eat and keep the electricity bill paid. I KNOW that amidst all the commitments and great opportunities filling your days, you still have time to invest in your marriage. Your marriage deserves your attention.

I still love all of my old High School friends. I wish I was able to see them and spend time with them on a regular basis. The farther I get from those late night, junk food filled conversations, the farther I drift from those friendships. I would still do anything for them but life’s commitments have pulled me in other directions. We have all given our time to other people, other things, and have moved on to other places.

I’ve heard people talk about their marriage in the same way. It isn’t anything that a spouse has done to hurt them, but the more time that passes between the relationship investments the more distant the relationship becomes.

Making time investments in our marriage must be a priority for all of us. Every time my bride and I put in the effort to spend some intentional time together our relationship reaps the rewards. Take some time and plan a date for you and your honey. RIGHT NOW! It doesn’t matter a bit if you are the husband or the wife. Take the time to let your spouse know that he/she is important to you. What are some creative ways that you can put action to this in your home?

Matt Powell serves as teaching pastor at Crossings Community Church, a body of believers whose mission is to engage, equip, and empower homes for gospel transformation in Katy, TX.

Redefining Christianity in Suburbia

July 16, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

I remember in college, being in my last year of study, and being thrown a huge curve ball. In all of our music classes everything had revolved around a baseline system. That system was called “Movable Do.” It is that aged old system you are at least remotely familiar with – Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Ti, Do. I know how you feel… you are suppressing the urge to sing the song from the Sound of Music. Anyway, we reached a point where they removed that system and altered the foundation that everything else had been based. This new system was like walking into a class finding a teacher who was suddenly speaking an entirely new language. Everything we had thought previously… our entire frame of reference was now pulled out from under us completely. It was a shocking and overwhelming moment.

Many people who grow up around our western church, and maybe most specifically our suburban church, have been raised with a definition of Christianity. This definition has been imposed and formed by the culture at large. Often we are raised equating the idea of Christianity with either being a good person or, for those of us who grew up inside the church, we have defined it by a prayer that is repeated in a sacramental fashion.

There is a passage in Matthew’s gospel that is particular hard for me to think about –

“Not everyone who says to me, Lord Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.”

This means it is very important how we approach this idea of being a Christian. We have to fight against the cultural definitions and see a journey that begins with putting authentic faith in Jesus. This authentic faith is authentic because it touches every nook and cranny of who we are as individuals. This means that where we go to church, how often we attend, or whether our name is on a membership list isn’t the crux of the conversation. This cannot be overstated because the #1 answer I get during any spiritual conversation with someone in the community is a reference to what denomination they belong to or what church they attend. Too many times ‘attend’ just refers to walking in the doors of a building once a year, twice a year, or at best once per month.

We are called to follow Jesus, abide in Jesus, and trust in Jesus. This journey (the ups, downs, struggles, and victories) is what it means to be a Christian. It is a daily adventure which forever changes the story of our life. We are individuals who are called to follow, abide, and trust. Then, the church is called to navigate this journey as an authentic community being transformed by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Not only is correctly defining Christianity hugely important to you and me but it radically changes the conversation we have with others. Have you ever experienced a spiritual conversation that was quickly met by the credentials of someone’s denominational affiliation? Have you ever heard the, “we go to *name-a-local-church* and we really enjoy it”? How can you participate in reclaiming the biblical definition of Christianity amidst your everyday conversations?

Matt Powell serves as teaching pastor at Crossings Community Church, a body of believers whose mission is to engage, equip, and empower homes for gospel transformation in Katy, TX.

Suburban Parenting: Memory Investments

July 12, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

Monday is my day off as usually my work week is Tuesday through Sunday. Today I took my son to the movies and we saw Cars 2. He ate a carton of popcorn and drank a cup of Sprite. Every few minutes during the movie he would turn to me and say, ‘Daddy, can I ask you a question?’ He would follow that with various random questions about the movie. It was obvious that he just wanted to connect with me every few minutes.

Tonight we took a family outing to Mission Burrito. I drove the kids around the parking lot while Momma was inside ordering the food. We passed the music store in the parking lot and we took a moment, stopped, and all looked at the guitars and drums in the window. My son asked me if we could go to that music store sometime and I let him know that we definitely could… sometime. My oldest child quickly piped up in the car by letting everyone know that her and I had gone there one time on a date night. That was probably at least 2 years ago when we did, in fact, go to that music store together on a date night.

It amazes me that all of my kids have those moments seared so deeply into their memory. It does not appear that they will ever forget a moment that we have spent together. This is convicting and inspiring all at the same time. It is convicting because I realize that I need to invest in more of those times with each of them (all THREE of them). It is inspiring to realize that each of those times are truly investments into their memories which will always be filed away as ‘time with Dad.’

What things are you investing your time in that will have zero significance tomorrow or next week? Parents, how can you make more of these memory investments in your children? Last week while Mom was at Bible Study we loaded up in the van, wearing our pajamas, and went to a friend’s movie/media room to watch Toy Story 3. For the small investment of watching a movie together plus 3 bags of M&Ms, they have brought that evening up in conversation countless times over the past week. I’m convinced they will never forget those moments. Will you commit with me in making more of those kind of memory investments into the lives of our children?

Suburban Isolation

July 6, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

If we are constantly trying to be someone else – or trying to project an image that is less than honest – no one will ever truly know us. If no one truly knows us then we are living in isolation. You may be surrounded by people all day long yet still be emotionally and relationally isolated. Moms can be surrounded by kids and even other moms and still be relationally isolated. Men and women can work amidst a sea of people for 40-60 hours per week and remain relationally isolated. It can easily happen to any of us. How do you know if you have crept into relational isolation?

Is someone asking about your well-being?
Is there someone who can see through your staple responses? (friend, “how are things going?” – you, “everything is going well” – friend, “liar.”)
Is someone asking about your marriage?
Does someone know your unique struggles and ask regularly about them?
Is someone available and welcoming of your phone call anytime of the day or night?

Isolation creates a petri dish where all sorts of problems take shape. To the surprise of many, pastoral leadership can create a very isolated environment. I have to be incredibly intentional to foster these kinds of relationships. So, I would be the first to say that it is much easier said than done. However, the struggle pays unspeakable blessings.

If you cannot answer a resounding “YES” to those five questions then I challenge you to seek deeper relationships – at least one. Fight the suburban isolationism that can easily breed all types of unhealthy thoughts and emotions.

Pastoral Inspiration

June 28, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

Being called to pastoral ministry is a blessing. Period. I am blessed to see God move in so many ways. Just as with any job/career/calling, there are difficulties. There are some days that are fantastic and others that can be more difficult. I’ve been digging around within my own head a bit and asking myself what inspires me to pastor.

There are so many different ways to answer this question. There are so many things that God can use and does use for inspiration. As the thoughts have settled in my head, I keep coming back to the same thing. The most inspiring thing for me as a pastor is to hear God stories… grace stories… transformation stories. The most inspiring thing for me is when I get to see how an individual or family is being led by the Spirit of God in their home.

Here in suburbia we default to the most comfortable, and often times prosperous, decisions in life. It seems that we are all compelled to choose comfort. This isn’t surprising. When you read back over what happened in the first three chapters of Genesis it all makes sense. This only magnifies the appreciation for a truly counter-cultural, nature-defying, Jesus-following story.

To hear that someone is hearing the Spirit of God in their life and faithfully moving with that direction of the Spirit is inspiring. I would encourage you to tell your story openly and freely. I understand that it can feel prideful when we talk about ourselves – but you’re NOT. You are talking about God and what he is doing in you. You are not mustering the strength to accomplish great things through your own brilliance and good nature. God is moving on your heart and then by his grace you are following faithfully. That is a story that needs to be told. Tell it today and tell it often. Don’t wait on the dramatic ending or hopeful deliverance to come. Tell of the journey… tell of the story… tell of the struggle… tell your story… TODAY. You are a tool of the Father in more ways than you can imagine.

What is God doing in your life right now? What areas of struggle is he taking you through? How are you hearing him and how are you following him? This is your story and it must be told. I know I will be inspired by it.

How to Find a Church in Suburbia

June 24, 2011 by Matt 3 Comments

I’m sure this is going to ruffle some feathers… well, maybe if I had been blogging here for more than a month and had established any readers it would ruffle some feathers. So, perfect timing! First, although I am the pastor of a church in our local suburban community of Katy, Tx this is not written in a way that necessitates people attending our church. We have some really great churches in our community as I am sure there are in your community as well. There are various options and rarely ever only one “good” church a community.

We have a fantastic athletic club here that is called Lifetime Fitness. It is a large company with locations all over the place and it is definitely the spot with the most amenities in our community. When someone moves to our community they will eventually look for an athletic club to join. They probably will not go with any regularity but you have to join… that is just what you do here in suburbia. These new homeowners will look around and try some of the options in the community but they will not doubt choose Lifetime. The people are nice, the trainers are knowledgeable, the amenities and plenty, and the place is beautiful. All the comforts and services they could possibly desire are found there and eventually our new couple will realize this is true and they will pledge their allegiance to this suburban mecca of fitness services.

This is all fine and dandy… Lifetime has done a phenomenal job of establishing themselves in our community. The problem is when that same new couple moved in they also needed to find a church. It just so happens that they looked for a church the exact same way they looked for a local fitness center. As a matter of fact, we could probably re-write that story replace church for fitness center and it would be a valid description.

When families move to suburbia, one of the items on their list is to find a church. Church could be a Catholic, Methodist, Episcopal, or Baptist church, but there is a social pressure present which necessitates them having a church. Just like the fitness center, they will not likely attend regularly but they will have their membership card available when the topic come up in conversation. Everyone in suburbia “has a church.” Here is an easy test you can deploy… you have probably noticed the activities of your neighbors on Sunday. They might be letting the kids play outside, walking the dog, washing the cars, or maybe stretching for a weekly golf outing… either way you know that they aren’t loading the family up for church each Sunday. Yet, when you talk with them and church comes up in conversation they seem to “have” a church. You often hear phrases like “our church” or “my church” from them when things like that come up. It is just part of being a suburban family – “having” a church.

If we have established we are all going to look for a church, then I would like to offer some guides as to what the suburban family should look for in that church. A church is so very different than a fitness club. Matter of fact, church is different than anything else in which we might participate. For church to be for us what it is really supposed to be, what do we look for in a church? As much as I hate the idea of “church shopping”, it is a reality. People search or “shop” around for churches. You can think of these ideas as Church Shopping 101. You should demand that all 5 of these things be present in church…

Bible Teaching – Yes, sadly they all are not that way. If we believe that the Bible is the book of truth or God’s word, then we want it to be the source of what is talked about at church. Also, it can be a little tough sometimes to figure out if a church is a Bible Teaching church. I would suggest you listen to the pastor and ask yourself if he is sharing his thoughts and supporting those thoughts with various pieces of the Bible or if he is sharing the Bible and letting his thoughts support or apply what it is already plainly saying?
Participant Oriented – This one is often the hardest to understand because it is one of the characteristics that make it different than all the other things we would look to find in suburbia – such as a fitness club. A Participant Oriented church is a church that is deeply concerned with how you can participate in seeing the mission accomplished. This church is more about how you can participate than how many services you can consume. By definition the church is a group of people working together to accomplish a mission or goal.
Life Changing – This one is a little more obvious but maybe harder to swallow. This type of church doesn’t want you to just find a level of comfort in where your life is today. This church wants to see a constant change in your life including your family, career, finances, and everything. If you can see being exactly the same person you are today after attending a church for years than it is definitely NOT a Life Changing church.
Externally Focused – We’re talking about a church here that is compassionate towards the local community as well as the global community. Whether on their website or on a Sunday (or even through talking to the pastor) listen for way in which they are leveraging their people resources and financial resources in local and global ways.
Jesus Talking – If you can attend a Sunday meeting and not hear the word “Jesus” then you are at the wrong place. Through song and spoken word you most definitely should hear about Jesus. If a group can gather together on Sunday and not mention Jesus then you should be very afraid… or maybe you just walked into Lifetime Fitness by mistake.

Obviously there is so much more that can be added and nuanced here, but this is a good foundation. The really great thing is that if these five items are present then so many other important things will be a by-product of these five. So, how does your church fit into this list of thoughts? Remember, this is just the basics, the introductory class. I don’t want to hear from all of you banner waiving contemporary worship evangelists or choir robe gospel devotees. That is not what this is about! Oh, and I love Lifetime Fitness. I’m a member and I go anywhere from 3-5 times per week. It is just not a church.

My Church vs Your Church

June 21, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

There is a competitive characteristic in our DNA that seems to have been injected with Adam & Eve at the fall. We all pick our sides and fight for them in some area of life. Maybe for you it is politics. You have taken your stance and YOU know all the right answers. Maybe it is about how babies must be fed organic baby food. I’m serious, there are people who seem to be willing to die over these issues. Suburbia is a breeding ground for this mine vs. yours mentality. It could be my cable company vs. yours or it could by my sons tae kwon do studio vs. yours. In the end it is all the same root spirit of I am right and you’re not. I practice a given activity correctly and you don’t. I support the best organization and yours is not only inferior but wrong.

It is no surprise that we often approach church the same way. Now, this is far from a plea for universalism. Jesus is the only way to have a relationship with God and the Bible is the only inerrant and infallible word of truth. When I talk about church here, I’m referring to the big church, small church, traditional church, contemporary church, missional church, seeker church, emerging church, emergent church, my church, your church players on the field. Then, there seems to be smaller nuances of each of those larger categories.

My fellow church planters are plagued with this mentality. It seems that in order to pioneer a new church you have to be against all of the other churches. It really hurts and angers me when I hear this sort of language from other pastors, of all people.

One of the biggest riffs I’ve seen in recent years in my sphere is the big church (or mega church) vs. small church inflamed positions. To be involved in one or the other often necessitates a stance against the other option. Here in suburbia that has created churches which are isolated and disconnected from each other. Churches are so concerned with their own turf or methods and programs that they often have no idea what is going on in the larger community of faith.

I have a unique view point. I have been employed and deeply involved in huge churches and smaller churches. For the first time, just over the past year, I have been connected slightly to what is happening in some of the other churches in our community. I’m not casting blame on others in this respect but accept full responsibility. But, through this God has given me some pretty counter-cultural thoughts and questions.

The church I now pastor is a small missional community nestled inside the suburban sprawl we call Katy, Tx. Katy is a suburban community of about 300,000 people. Our church, by God’s grace, has impacted a lot of homes in this community. By his continued grace, I believe we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of what He will do through us. We can do ministry in a way that other churches cannot. We are a small community – where everyone will know your name – moving forward on mission. You walk in and you quickly feel the family atmosphere of what God is doing in and through our church.

Within our Katy community there are huge churches, tiny churches, and everything in between. Each one of those churches is uniquely equipped to impact this local community in a way that the others will not be able to duplicate. This is formed by the story of the church, the pastor, and the people – the unique fingerprint of each church gathering. The resources which are available to each church vary widely – financial resources, people resources, gift and ability resources. Sit down, take a deep breath, and think this through with me…

What if all of these bible-believing, gospel-teaching churches leveraged the ability they would have together as a unified movement? What if the resources of small, medium, and large churches overlapped like the job descriptions of each member playing on a baseball diamond? I believe it would be monumental. What if it wasn’t about my church vs. your church? What if all of our energy was put behind leveraging my church AND your church for the sake of gospel transformation within this grand community?

I don’t have the answers yet but I’m praying for a day that we are all, as leaders and followers of Jesus, are wrestling with these questions. Thanks to Mitch Maher at Redeemer Community Church and the effort he has put into getting the local gospel leaders together… I’m at least asking the questions.

Would you be willing to pray and ask God what your role in all of this might be? It doesn’t matter if you are a local church attender or one of the pastors of any of these churches… God wants to use you. How do you fit into this movement? Your story and gifts have a role to play. What are the baby steps you can take in hopes of seeing greater gospel impact?

Do We Still Know How To Be Friends?

June 19, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

Suburbia. We live in a place of cul-de-sacs and subdivisions. Our houses are nicely organized into smaller groups of houses (communities) within our larger master-planned communities. Our houses are designed facing each other or just mere feet next to each other. People move from the urban center to suburbia because of this utopian picture of community. However, reality comes crashing down with garage doors and yard divisions called privacy fences.

I just ran across this article that talks about how many of our facebook friends are people we really know, KNOW. I don’t want to come off sounding like one of those social media haters – because I’m not. I think there are some really great things that can be leveraged through social media. Most recently as I have gone through some health issues and surgery, I have been really blessed to see through facebook or twitter that people were praying for me. I have been able to reconnect with friends that I would have found no other way aside from social media. I have also engaged in some great conversations that have been enabled through these great twenty-first century staples. Birthdays… I haven’t even mentioned… how odd would it be not to feel all that birthday facebook love?

Since we have established the fact that I’m not a hater… I’ll let you into my struggle. We have chosen to live in master-planned communities designed to orchestrate relationships. This being the case, we live in a constant state of rushing into the garage so quickly the door artfully closes only moments after our car passes the little safety laser at the entrance. We might peek out long enough to grab our garbage cans off the curb only because we are scared of the HOA enforcer that drives around with nothing to do except for scribble our shortcomings and associate fees to those shortcomings. Yet with over 600 million users and each one spending over 15 hours per month on facebook we all have a plethora of “friends.”

It seems that with our growing busyness we are replacing real-life relationships with e-relationships. The definition of the word ‘friend’ has completely changed in regards to how it is used in our day-to-day language. When we refer to someone as a friend it could mean that we bumped into them in line at Taco Bell one day, made a passing connection and then found a friend request in our facebook inbox.

Do we really know what it means to navigate life in authentic relationships with other people? Can we be open with someone and let them into both our struggles and joys? Do we value caring for others? This busyness has created such a me-centric worldview that I am not sure we still know how to be friends. How many friends do you really have? I’m not talking about those e-relationships… but real friends?

Friendship is giving of yourself to someone else with their needs valued above yours. It is participating with others through their deepest struggles and their moments of greatest victory. True friendship demands proximity at crucial moments in life. A friend is someone who can see it on your face… or hear it in your voice… when the crucible of circumstance has been realized. A friend would recognize your voice and welcome your plea at any hour of the day or night. Most importantly, a friend is someone who has been on their knees praying with your name frequently on their lips.

How can you intentionally invest yourself in these types of relationships? Are you a true friend or have you settled for the false security established by those exaggerated numbers on our facebook profile? Are you willing to give the counter-cultural effort it will require to build true friends?

Being a Child & Parent in Suburbia

June 18, 2011 by Matt Leave a Comment

Reminiscing is what our parents and grandparents used to do, right? Yes. I remember endless stories of how things used to be when my father and grandfather were children. I remember the crazy stories about all the things they used to do, and yes… even those stories about walking to school up hill, in the snow, both ways. Maybe I haven’t earned my way to that status yet but as a father of three I have earned a little credit.

I grew up playing outside. Every memory I have of childhood activities takes place outside. Memories of playing catch with my dad and various other kids around the neighborhood. Whether we were sitting down under a tree trading baseball cards or we were running hard in the middle of full scale baseball game, we kiddos were playing outside. We played baseball for hours and hours. We had countless imaginary games and the funny thing is that there were often times only three or four of us playing (fyi – it takes a lot more than that to play a baseball game). Now that is imagination! Do kids today know what “ghost men” are? Probably not. For you younger and less imaginative folk, “ghost men” were the imaginary runners who populated the bases and the defensive positions when there were only three or four of us who were actually playing. We would come up with some pretty imaginative plays. My friend (a real person) would pitch the ball to me and hopefully I would get a nice hit. As I was running the bases it was up to me how the other “ghost men” progressed around the bases – you can imagine that it often worked out in my favor.

So much of my development happened outside figuring out how to play well with my friends – both real and imaginary. We ran around and sweat in this Houston humidity from sun up to sun down. We played hard and we had a blast. To give you a little context, the first Nintendo system was just released in my junior high years. It was very expensive and not something that everyone had at first. Later, it became more common and I did get acquainted with duck hunt and super mario bros.

Our kids today grow up in such a different social setting. It is no longer normal for kids to grow up playing outside all day. Depending on where you live (even in suburbia) it isn’t safe for kids to be as free as we were in our generation. The social growth that happens between kids today often happens with headphones and a microphone discussing video game moves over an internet connection instead of pastimes like neighborhood baseball.

It is easy to speak about the problems of a given culture or society. There are no shortage of deconstructionists. My generation got some great exercise and social interaction but the next generation of video game masters spawned the dot com explosion and created the tech world we all exist under today. There are great things that can be taken from all of our experiences.

My questions is, how can we, as parents, be proactive about the way we raise our children in a way that combines the best of all of our experiences? What if we viewed our role as parents holistically spiritual? What if we saw every opportunity, activity, and engagement through spiritual lenses? It would be easy to drown under the evaluation of positioning this activity against that one. We could argue hopelessly about what activities produce the best, most well-rounded children.

When you reflect on the way that Jesus led you see a man who modeled truth for the disciples. You see a man who taught truth to the disciples. You also see a man who partnered with the disciples in their experiential learning of truth. Every moment with Jesus was a growing moment for the disciples, regardless of their daily engagements. Maybe the answers aren’t in taking a stance against video games or how much our kids play outside, inside, with others, or alone. Maybe it isn’t about picking the best activities… best dance studio… violin teacher… or making the all-star team. Maybe it is more about seeing all their experiences as an opportunity to mold them spiritually.

Times have changed – they always will – but the truth has not. How does a spiritually holistic view of parenting change the way you approach your role as a parent? Are your children participating in activities as an end in themselves or are those activities an opportunity for you to teach and model Christ-like followership to them?

The Customary Suburban Dog

June 16, 2011 by Matt 1 Comment

You can’t live within the throws of suburbia without an all-american dog! You don’t have to have three of them like we do we but everyone needs at least one. We brought Shiner home just after Christmas this year as an eight-week-old puppy. He is definitely my dog. I house trained him. I stayed up at night with him when he first came home. I feed him. And, I train him. But I LOVE doing it. He is our second Labrador Retriever. Our older one is about twelve-years-old now. He and I didn’t bond in the same way because he had to spend a good chunk of time away from us early on in his life.

Why in the world am I telling you about my dog? I know that is what you thinking… Aside from the fact that I can because this is my site, he does fit into the larger theme of things here at Suburbia Uncovered. Shiner has been one of the greatest conversation points between me and my neighbors over the past 6 months. He has also forced me to GET OUTSIDE. There is something about a well behaved dog that brings comfort and conversation between strangers. It is no exaggeration that my relationship with the man who lives directly across the street from us has exploded over the past six months for no other reason aside from us finding common ground through my dog.

Shiner is fun… he is stress relief for me… and I have really enjoyed having him. But, he is also another small tool (although he is not really that small) that I can leverage in my efforts to engage life with my neighbors. Maybe you have a dog and you walk it religiously every evening around your neighborhood. I want to encourage you to view that as a God-given opportunity. Use that time to pray for the homes that you are passing. Use it to embrace new opportunities to converse with the neighbors that God has brought around you. And hey… if you don’t have a dog this is a great excuse to go out and get one – for the glory God, by all means.