We often talk about our adolescent years as the years when we are searching and trying to ‘find ourselves.’ However if we are honest and really stop to reflect on it, it does not end there. In fact, we spend our entire lives figuring out who we are and how God has uniquely created and called us to follow Him.
By God’s grace, as we grow in our relationship with Him, He does provide wisdom and maturity. I have spent a lot of time wrestling through this over the past few months. God uses circumstances and tensions to push us into deep reflection. As He grows us in maturity and wisdom, He also gives us confidence and peace about the calling and unique mission that He has intentionally bestowed upon us.
Much of my life could fit into the ‘jack of all trades and master of none’ category. Since I could do a lot of things with decent results I have fully embraced that title. My reading of scripture and communion with the Lord has led me to new realizations as He has continued to mature me.
I came to a simple yet divinely appointed realization. Just because I could do something adequately does NOT mean that God’s calling on my life includes that activity. Further, it might be those activities which are holding me back from fully walking in the unique calling, gifting, and mission for which God has uniquely created me.
I have realized that we can engage in good activities all day long every day and we can do them with acceptable results and yet be completely unfulfilled. WARNING: As you can probably tell I am letting you into some of the inner workings of Matt’s crazy head… it is a very scary and dangerous place.
The Lord has grown me to a place of discovering and embracing the fact that He has uniquely created me to be a communicator of His truth. That simple idea has many different applications. I have realized as I have reached this season of my life, if the vast majority of my time is not given to communicating His truth, then I am walking in some areas of disobedience.
Those sins of disobedience for me can easily be the pride of control which does not allow me to delegate well. It could be disobedience through the fear of managing other people’s expectations and perceptions (i.e. not fitting their mold of what a pastor should do, say, or be…). It could be the fear of failure because even when I walk in courageous obedience there remain no guarantees of worldly success. I could be distracted by the fear of risk necessary to be obedient to the call God has placed on my life. The list is endless and the battle demands great endurance, yet the joys of obedience are unspeakably satisfying.
I pray this tiny glimpse in my own personal reflection and growth sparks some reflection in your mind.
Questions: Are you growing in wisdom and maturity through your time with Christ in His Word? How is He changing you? Have you found that He is continuing to mold you into the person He has uniquely created you to be? What is holding you back from walking fearlessly into His calling?